2 posts tagged “zombies”
20 years ago, a very evil man was executed in a prison by lethal injection. Except, due to the fact that said man was evil, the execution went horribly awry and the guy exploded, causing all the inmates to turn into zombies and start a riot.
Now, in the present time, the prison has been converted to a progressive women's rehabilitation center (read: women's prison), and the latest inmate is a girl named Solitaire who, quite to the contrary of her name, prefers to be alone. However, it turns out that she kicks ass Bruce Lee-style and soon becomes the talk of the detention-center town.
Through a series of horrific events, the evil man is awakened, along with his zombified inmate pals, and they wreak havoc on the women. It is up to Solitaire to kick some zombie ass and stop this evil man, with whom she shares a special connection.
One of the benefits of this movie is that, due to the hodgepodge of genres thrown in, it's a genuinely original picture. All of the twists and turns feel new, despite having been seen elsewhere. Of course, there are some predictable moments ("of course...the evil baby bites his mother's nipple off."). However when watching a movie of this caliber, it's difficult to see past the digital effects and kung fu and realize that, besides two or three people, the bulk of the performances are worthy of Sci-Fi Channel original films. That being said, it doesn't really matter.
This is definitely something fun to watch, and though I don't indulge myself, would be awesome if you were baked.
P.S. In movies set inside a women's prison, the shower scenes are much more interesting.
If there was a "Mystery Science Theater 3000" show for more mature films, this one would definitely be featured.
I'm watching it right now, as I'm typing, and I've yet to find a plot. So far a skinny-dipping girl has died, some woman doing her laundry, and now there's a military combat scene happening. Interesting.
In fact, for the first 4 and a half minutes, there was only a naked girl tanning and then skinny-dipping, and then being pulled under the water by the lamest zombie ever.
Here's how the second woman died: she's walking through a village with her laundry, when bam! out of the corner pounces the zombie, in military dress. He brings her down to the ground and kills her by...making out with her neck a whole lot. There's a lot of blood, but maybe he bit his cheek. It was awesome when he pulls his mouth away from her neck, and there's no bite, just a smear of blood. He goes back in for seconds, and then you see there's some sort of paper mache on his face.
Here's a fun love scene that took place in a barn: the man is on top, kissing the woman all over. He then rubs his face all over her nipple. Methinks I have a lesson or two to learn.
So, what I've gathered so far, is that there's a military flashback, involving a Nazi soldier gettin' it on with some chick and having a baby, and they both died. The Nazi's body was thrown in the lake.
Cut to a scene where no less than ten young women pour out of a van near the lake, playing with a volleyball. Well, obviously every single one of them strip and run into the lake, splashing each other playfully, with some very happy, upbeat music playing the background. And then all but one gets pulled under and drowned. The survivor runs away, forgetting to cover her shame (i.e., her boobies!).
Near the end there's an entertaining little montage of the Nazi zombies roaming throughout town and attacking women in various forms of undress. And then almost right after that is an underwater pan of the zombies rising from the bottom to the surface, and if you look not so closely, you can see the doors to the tank they filming in. The next shot? Them emerging from the lake.
Oh, man, is this entertaining. Watch it and make your own MST3K jokes alone or with your friends.
"We'd better face the fact that the zombies have declared war."
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